So tired. On my way back in the 1st Class on the Eurostar I felt asleep. It was the first time that I was travelling 1st Class Eurostar and I felt asleep straight away. As I woke up everyone around me was eating a fancy three course meal and I DIDNT GET IT BECAUSE I SLEPT. I nearly cried.
I went to a really cool Restaurant in Finsbury Park which is called ‘Cats’ – Thai restaurant. So lovely. It has leopard print chairs and the food was delicious. My dad and my brother joined me for dinner and behind us was a big table with about 10 people sitting on. Punks! All Punks. I mean the real Punks 30+ you see in Camden. Originals. Or those parts who are left as ‘Originals’… My dad was shocked. I wasn’t impressed about the Punks sitting in a formal restaurant. I said ‘This is London Dad”.
You know when you are talking to someone every day you really like. And you know each other for years. You’ve been probably through a lot together and you know what mood he is in because you are kind of with him every day. You talk more to that person than you talk actually to your family or friends. And you think you know everything about him.
Suddenly it starts to become something serious and kind of relationship thing. And gets funny because actually you know each other so well but you are getting confronted with the ‘odd couple’ things you both always complained or laughed about.
Location: In Bed. Late.
Me: Why you never tell me that you love me….?
He: Well just a second after having sex would the ‘typical odd thing to say’. Wouldnt it?
Me: But you never say it!
He: Kat!! You know that I love you. You know it. Dont you??!!
He: No… of course not………..
(Me thinking: Yes I do know. And you probably tell me every week since ages, years now but still please just fucking tell me again and again that you REALLY love me).
Me: But why you never saying it?
He: Because I dont want to go ‘placard’ it. I love you. You know I do.
He: Kat! Its 1am and Im up since 20 hours why do we have this discussion right now. I really need to sleep!
Me: Because Im a girl.
He: Yes you are a girl. I know. Ok I will try to be a bit more romantic. But let’s talk about it tomorrow.
“Loving me is like straightening curls”
On Saturday we went out drinking in Finsbury Park. We sat there four hours and got really really drunk. He started sneezing suddenly if there’s no tomorrow and told me he is allergic to Beer! Bloody Hell! Allergic to Beer! Hilarious. I mean, have you ever met someone who is allergic to be? He really is allergic to beer… We went home. I wanted to drink another beer but didnt get to finish it as so often. I couldnt even sit straight on the sofa anymore. We went to bed, I moaned at him as he touched me. He said: “Oh God, Kat! D.R.U.N.K.” Me: ‘Yes. Me drunk. Night’.
Next morning. Location: In Bed.
Me: Omg such a headache. I was so drunk sorry (cuddled up).
He: You were! That was the second time we didn’t have sex as you were drunk (dramatic)!!
Me: Sorry, I know. I said mean things to you and felt asleep.
He: Yes. Your bedtime manners are getting worse!!
Me: You better get used to it.
He laughed. Well its not really funny isnt it but in our situation as we know each other for many years now it is funny!
Well, this is what you get when you are bonded to each other in a sexual way and cant get away from each other. Bedtime stories. You start liking each other more. You start to see that this person knows probably more about you than anyone else. You heart each other. You fall in love and still cant get enough of each other. But you never were together. What comes next? Safety.
“I am the only perfect choice
You’ve met your match
I’ve lost my voice
And when you’re gone it gets so cold
I swear I’m too young to be this old, this old
Look what I can do
I know that I’m a hungry lost girl
But please stick around and I’ll build you a world
I’ll build you a world … ” (CLC)